then and now

So I got distracted by an email, yet another one reminding me that I've been out of high school for ten years and "oh! won't it be great to get together with all 575 classmates in an old barn and reminisce about how much fun high school was!"

Jeez. So I hit the school link, and it links to all these people I knew and didn't know, and all their myspaces and I spent the last hour just randomly checking out what they've been up to and what they're doing. And I caught myself shaking my head. A lot.

And I realized I have nothing in common with them, not that I really did in the first place, except that we went to school together. So don't be surprised that I will do my damnedest to not go to the reunion. Ohh, unless they have a murder and then make a short-lived tv show about it! Oh, nevermind.

Ya know what else? I like having my own little anonymous blog to vent in and not have a page where people write their own personal ads and encourage stupidity and bad pictures. Ok, I'm being extremely judgmental and intolerant here, and I am aware of this, but you know what? I'm gonna be judgmental anyway - they are, so why can't I???

Sure, the handful of people I knew from classes we had together for six years have changed. I have. I like to think I got better with time. And sure, maybe they did too. But come on, just because we spent three or six years together does not mean that we shared life-changing and emotionally fulfilling experiences. Ok, ok... some people obviously did. Many were married before they graduated, or shortly thereafter, so they shared some experiences there. Many did have close cliques of friends and they've stayed in touch, so good for them.

Admittedly I hung out with several people for a couple of years after graduation, but only actually went to school with one of those. But we drifted apart and went different directions. Or after surfing tonight, I noticed we've gone in different directions, but a few of them still connect regularly. Do I feel remorse or hurt by any of this? No. Just aware that the people in my life at that time and the people I call my friends now are very different energy sources and influences.

Just very aware of where I am right now in my life, slowly becoming aware of where I want to be in my life, slowly figuring out how to get to where I want to be... and am not looking back at the past any further than to remember the things I've learned along the way, and trying to keep looking forward. Even when I know what lies ahead may be tough, I'd still rather look forward than back.